Just Because

I took these pictures with the intention of getting a shot of Anna's hair. She is really into it being done in different ways most often a way that someone else at school does theirs. On Saturday I was putting it in a pony tail and stopped short of pulling it all the way through on the last loop. So it was just kind of put up like Aunt Sarah's sometimes. She looked so much older than I wanted her to, but she also looked so cute. She also was being a ham when I pulled out the camera so I got some great smiles from her.



After I downloaded these and looked at them I realized they served another purpose. It is just a couple weeks shy of being a year since her sledding accident. You know the one the one that I intentionally pushed her down the hill right towards the pole of the trampoline so that she would smash face first into it. Well that is her version of the story, I'm hoping by the time she is 14 she will have realized her version isn't very accurate. I usually try to make sure to avoid taking pictures of the scar, it is a painful reminder for me even though it doesn't faze her unless she hears me talking about the accident. However, on this day I didn't even think about it, I didn't notice and I didn't acknowlege it. Yeah, I was so worried I would always be consumed with it and it is less than a year and I forgot until I looked at the pictures. In some of them you can hardly even see it and in others the redness still shows. But it doesn't matter, it is a part of her story, it reminds me not of the pain and guilt I felt now but of her strength in the midst of pain and fear, it reminds of ketchup fries (some horribly aweful chips PopPop got out of the vending machine and she loves), it reminds me of chewy runts, PopPop and Anna's favorite candy she can't eat them without recounting the events of that day. It reminds me of a time when Dad was right there to hold me and help me and Mom was there to take care of the boys a luxury I have rarely gotten to experience because I live so far away but it wasn't the first time they were there for a trip to the ER with Anna, her chin carries the other scar. Thanks Mom and Dad for being there then and always even if you aren't RIGHT there. It also makes me think about the ways Anna has changed in a year, the big and the little, but that is for another post, maybe in June, but I'm not great at writing the ones that carry too much emotion.
GOD BLESS,